Since there is little to do today at work (considering Gilly's got most of the stuff under control) I'm going to take a moment to talk about our copy machine. Our possessed copy machine.
Did you ever see the movie Gremlins? Well, it doesn't matter, because this Xerox machine isn't infested with Gremlins, it's possessed. I know this for a fact because it whispers secrets to me when I'm alone in the office. It tells me its plans for world domination, how we are all doomed to burn in hell, how I'm next, etc. You know, usual demonic possession stuff. Also, I'm pretty sure it mentioned something about past victims and bodies hidden in the prop loft. That would explain the ghost that keeps calling. Maybe it's protecting us? We may never be sure, seeing as the ghost hasn't mastered psychic communication, and every time I've asked the copier, it just went off about "eternal torment" or something. So, if next time you see a show at City Lights, there's a pentagram of blood in the bathroom, you'll know why.
Other than deciphering supernatural phenomenon, I'll be working the Notre Dame show, Necessary Targets, later today. I'll be sure to keep a priest on speed dial in case one of the girls goes Linda Blair on us.